For the record and full disclosure — I am a very proud Lincoln-Sudbury alumnus and have the utmost trust and respect for the teachers and coaches at L-S. I, like many residents in Sudbury, feel very fortunate to have the ability to move back to Sudbury so that our children benefit from a Sudbury and Lincoln-Sudbury education and leadership. 

The renowned L-S athletic department has decided to try "shared leadership." According to a recent newspaper article, "this means that instead of having anywhere from one captain to as many as four or five, L-S teams will be led by a council of students. That council could be all the seniors or anyone and everyone on the roster."

This is a little surprising. Maybe it is a new way of thinking that will eventually prevail. But for now, the knee-jerk reaction to the group hug has made L-S the talk of talk radio and Facebook pages of L-S alums everywhere.

Some high school parents apparently complained because the election of captains was largely a popularity contest, not based on merit. I would be upset, too. But, if it's the way that the captains are elected – work to change that. Don't change the role of the captain.  

The fact that parents are responding to their 16-, 17- and 18-year-olds by running to the school and complaining about "fairness" is another story.  What happens when your "brilliant" child doesn't get the job they want? Will you pick up the phone to call the CEO? I kid you not, it's happening. 

I do equate the "shared leadership" thinking with the "every kid deserves a trophy" mentality. Leaders are so vital in our society. A leader is a role model, someone to look up to. It's not just about having the word "captain" on a college application or a resume. It's about acting as a captain. It's about leading a team of people with the respect of others. It should be earned and deserved. Just like winning. Work hard and maybe you will win. Maybe you won't. If you don't win, it doesn't mean that you didn't work hard. It doesn't mean that you aren't respected. It just means that someone else was more successful.

I'm a 70s and 80s kid. Gen X. I tried out for teams. I auditioned for plays. I ran for student council. I had to practice whatever it was that I decided. I applied to colleges on my own.  When I graduated from college, I interviewed for jobs — a lot.

My name wasn't on every team list. I didn't get the leading role in the school play. After college, I did land a fabulous dream job. But it was an internship. It was an unpaid internship. It was a part of paying my dues. It evolved into a dream career. When I accomplished something, it felt amazing. It still does.

Our society loves sports. We love the competition, the passion, the sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, yell-at-the-TV-and-throw-the-remote kind of love. Could you imagine if Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig decided that both teams playing in the World Series should get the trophy and rings because, in essence, they are all champions? What ff there were 30 Stanley Cups given out at the end of the hockey season? Or if every participating Olympic athlete now received a "copper" medal because they worked so hard, traveled so far and sacrificed so much, they need to get something.

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick got it right when he introduced the squad during their Super Bowl runs as a team since they earned it together. But, there are still team captains. Leaders.

When it comes to sports and our youth, I fear that the generation that should be known as Generation T (for trophy) is missing out on such a vital life experience to know what it feels like to accomplish or win something and deserve it. I hope I am so wrong. If or when my daughters receive an award, recognition, a job, a promotion, I want them to know it's because they earned it. I don't want to wonder if everyone on the team/league/class got one.  

"The purpose of the captain is to provide leadership and mentor younger players," said Robert DeFranco, a 1988 L-S football captain and an executive TV and film producer. "When I was a sophomore, the team captains provided us with central figures that represented the ideals of the team and program. It was also someone anyone on the team could go to for guidance and advice. It was invaluable as a younger player to look up to guys."

The instantaneous reaction to the L-S decision is due to the popular opinion that shared leadership does not reflect true life.  It is one of our many roles as parents to teach our children that they are not going to win everything, nor get everything that they want in life. It's our role to prepare our children to deal gracefully with losing. To pick themselves up and move on — to really, truly work for something. They need to know that they aren't entitled to getting anything, just because they want it. That the nice guys don't always win and that the captains and leaders have earned their titles.

As my daughter learned from her fabulous Sudbury kindergarten teacher, "Only one person can be first in line."

Gabrielle Daniels Brennan may be reached at gabrielle.daniels@nemoves.com